It has been a year

Time flies! Today is my 1 yr anniversary of becoming a homemaker. As I ponder and stock take of what I've done for the passed 1 year, "Thank God" are the words that I'll say. He has been the one who's our provider in many areas. I'm still learning many things as a homemaker. As my children grow, I'll need to learn to deal with them every single day and learn how to be patient and love them with all my heart. Although, sometime I fall into a trap of dilemma... on one hand you want to be with your kids, on the other hand, fatigue and anger may set in as they may not behave the way you want them to. You would want to say "leave me alone"... I want to have some "ME" time. Feeling guilty and selfish is a constant struggle in my spiritual journey. May God forgive my short coming and teach me to do things with all my heart.

I'm someone who can't sit still at home nor can I "Ta Han" the household chores and stuff like that. I don't want to "work" but not actually want to be "bored" at home. My answer to this question 'If I am given the choice, do I want to work?" is always a firm "NO". Not facing the "month end closing" nor the stress from work is really a relief. Gosh! During those times, I was really being torn apart. Tough to be a working mom though... need to take care of the office tasks and need to worry about my girls. Having time to think of some issues that you'll never have time to think in the past is also a great blessing. You feel that you've entered into a different dimension now and it isn't like what it used to be. May be I am just contented to be a simple mother who sometimes frantically yell at the kids and hears my voice echoing back... life has been ordinary but fulfilling and it is really full of joy and laughters.

I never thought that I was able to survive it after being a career woman for more than a decade. Thank God once again for my three beautiful princesses that always throw me big hugs, cries and laughters. My dearest supportive husband is also on the thanking list although I feel helpless sometimes seeing him face stress at work. All I can do is cook him good meals, hoping that he can enjoy this simple pleasure after a stressful day of work. It is really a dream that we can start our own business so he can quit..... Let's wait and see. (Dear, you may need to wait long long, but it is on my list!!!)

Although I miss my boss and beloved colleagues who had always been my buddies while I worked. Well, I think I gain more than I lose..... never regret quitting my job and spending more time with my family.

My friends will scold me when they read the first para complaining above: "You can always catch your quiet morning newspaper break at a shopping mall or shopping for grocery and food for the week". Most importantly, now I have more time to find "solace" in the kitchen cooking my favourite stuff... ;>